(aka “How to Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body for Hotter Sex” – Part 2 of 2)
In Part 1, I addressed “How to Talk Dirty without Being Dirty.”
There’s another way to use your voice to get out of your head and into your body for better sex. This can be a great turn-on for you and very exciting for your partner:
Exaggerate your vocal response.
You see, your own voice actually helps you get into it. It’s like, for example, if you’re watching a horror movie and you scream, or the person next to you suddenly screams.
What does that do? If you can imagine it, notice what it does to your body. You cringe, you may jump a bit, and you might even scream too. And when you do scream or cringe, it has a spillover physiological effect. You might even get an adrenaline rush. And you might trigger a “domino effect” in other people around you.
Remember that iconic scene in the movie When Harry Met Sally, with Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal? The one in the deli where Sally is showing Harry how a man can’t tell if a woman is faking an orgasm? (Even after so many viewings over the years, I still can’t watch this clip without cracking up.)
She’s doing this whole thing saying, “Ooh, ooh… Oh, God! Oh yeah, right there…” And she goes on and on, pounding the table and screaming, “Yes! Yes!” Everyone in the deli is captivated. She’s having a great time, and Billy Crystal is dying a thousand deaths of embarrassment.
Now, I’m definitely NOT condoning faking orgasm! That creates a whole can of worms that eventually needs to be unpacked if you’re going to have a great sex life.*
My point is that it’s so exciting just to hear the sounds she makes, that others want to experience it too.
In a similar way, exaggerating your vocal response to your sexual pleasure gets you to tune in to your body and actually intensifies your pleasure. If it doesn’t come naturally to you, focus on your sensations and start making soft sounds that would be the non-verbal vocal expression of the pleasure you feel.
When you let yourself vocalize sounds of pleasure and even exaggerate your expression a bit, it has a physiological effect on you. It’s actually a gift to your partner too – and it may have a turn-on effect on him or her.
Now, don’t wait until you’re ascending toward orgasm. Make noise during the early stages of foreplay, even if it’s soft and subtle, like the “mmm” of enjoying an ice cream cone or the “ahhh” of sinking into a luxurious warm bubble bath.
It’s great non-verbal feedback for your partner, to help him or her know what gets you most aroused. Believe me, your lover wants to know what gives you pleasure – what’s working!
Think about it – if you partner is usually silent during sex, wouldn’t you appreciate a little more aural feedback? That feedback is another way making sounds benefits your lovemaking.
Remember, you actually feel your pleasure more when you let yourself make the moans and groans that go with it. And then your sounds and your pleasure build one upon the other to get you right out of your head and into your body with many spillover effects for hotter sex!
*Can’t bring yourself to make sounds during sex? If you feel unwarranted inhibitions stemming from your past are getting in the way of fully enjoying your most exquisite pleasure, spontaneous sexual self-expression, and a deeply fulfilling love life, I can help.