Make Love, Not War [With Yourself or a Partner]

The energy of these times is stirring up generalized anxiety in many people. Regardless of your political views and values, the external situation brought home daily with the media blasting reports of chaos and violence, threats to personal health and safety, and economic uncertainty can evoke internal resonance from the past.

Be aware that if you are feeling insecure, angry, anxious, or experiencing irrational fears, it may not be related to the people and events in your immediate surroundings at all – the energy is “in the air,” so to speak. And remember everyone else is being impacted by these energies too. So cut yourself and those around you a little slack.

Why am I bringing this up? You see, sexual energy is very powerful, and it amplifies emotions, positive or negative. Sexual activity can be a great way to release tension, but pay attention to what you are feeling before you make love or engage in recreational sex, so that any negative feelings don’t get misdirected onto another person and/or yourself.

Here are a few suggestions to support your mental and emotional health, as well as your love life, in stressful times.

1. Breathe. A few deep, cleansing breaths can quickly change your state and help you be more resourceful. This also benefits your physical health. HeartMath research shows that slow, deep breathing (6 seconds in and 6 seconds out) for 5 minutes actually increases your immunity for the next 7 hours.

2. Do an emotional “dump.” To help relieve feelings of anxiety and turmoil and to avoid inadvertently dumping such feelings onto another person, try this:

Lie down on your belly. On the floor is fine, but directly on the earth on a big rock or in a field of grass feels really great. Then just let all your emotions flow out of your body directly into the earth. Mother Earth can handle it!

An alternative that you can do anywhere, at your desk, in the car at a stoplight, etc., is to imagine the energy of all your emotions flowing down through your body and out through your perineum at the base of your spine between your genitals and anus. Again, open the floodgates and let it all flow into the earth. Just imagine flushing a toilet, letting all your emotional baggage just whoosh down.

3. Tune into your emotions. This is great to do anytime, and especially with anything left over after an emotional “dump” described above:

Simply ask yourself: “What am I feeling right now?” And then fully allow it – no matter how ugly or uncomfortable it is. If you’re not clear on the emotion you’re feeling, focus on any tension, pain or other uncomfortable sensation in your body. The body never lies.

Whenever I do this, it changes pretty rapidly on it’s own, and I often repeat the question as the emotion changes. Then take a deep breath with a full exhale to clear the way to experience the next moment fully. I love how this works – it’s a direct line to experience life and our divinity more fully.

If you’d like to learn more about how this approach benefits your love life, listen to the replay of my interview with Raphael Cushnir on “How Your Sexual Energy Reveals Your Essence.

4. Give yourself pleasures that nurture your sensory body as well as your soul. For example, take a bubble bath, get a massage (if it’s allowed in your area, or trade massages with your partner), play sports (if safe), spend time in nature, sing, dance, play music, play with children. We know laughter is healthy, so watch some comedy. (YouTube is a great place to find comedy).

Of course, there’s always the option to MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR, alone or with a partner!


“There is one way to tell easily and instantly
whether you feel separate from Source:

the degree to which you feel anxiety in your life
is the degree to which you are in separation.

It is important to distinguish between “feeling”
separate from Source and actually “being” separate,
because Source is in every aspect
of your self and your world.”

~ Martia Nelson (from Coming Home)

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