How to Make Resolutions for a Better Love Life

Do you make New Year’s resolutions each year? If yes, are there particular ways you like to write them out?

Do you have a special ritual you like to do before and/or after the New Year? The people I know seem to have various ways of approaching New Year’s resolutions. And, whatever works for each person is great.

That said, I got a new perspective on resolutions from Christian Mickelson, my wonderful coaching mentor, and I’d like to share the concept with you in a way that relates to your love life.

The typical resolution tends to be a goal without a “how to” to ground it in reality. That’s why I think most resolutions are forgotten before the end of January. If you don’t have a clear “how to” steps in mind, it’s difficult to be inspired to stick with your resolution.

As we get to the end of the year, I invite you to try a few fun and simple practices to help you pre-pave your New Year’s resolutions. So, not only do your resolutions become more possible to achieve, they become much more grounded in reality and in your daily life.

So, I suggest you write down your goals, and then, from knowing what you want, you can start to take a look around your home and office and your relationships and see what’s in the way of you achieving that specific resolution… and fix it!

For example, if your goal is to enjoy more and better lovemaking with your partner, you might want to consider some or all of the following:

  • Your environment, especially your bedroom. What needs to be done to make it a more inviting love nest? E.g.,
    • Clean up the clutter? (and perhaps organize the closet space and/or drawers to make it easier to maintain a neat room)
    • Create romantic lighting with candles or realistic looking battery-operated ones next to the bed. Or put dimmer switches on the bedside lamps (a super-easy fix is to buy extension cords with dimmer switches)
    • Splurge on some new bed linens.
    • Get a Bluetooth speaker for the bedroom, so you can play romantic music (including my “Love Unbound” Music for Lovemaking infused with Auditory Pheromones®)

  • Your bedroom attire. What do you need to feel sexy and attractive?

Wouldn’t it be fun to go shopping with your partner to find some yummy flattering lingerie? (Of course, if you prefer, you can go alone and buy something for yourself or your partner.)

  • Your way of being with your partner. Do you express your love and appreciation to each other often, at least daily?
    • Consider how often you tell your partner something you love or appreciate about them. (Wouldn’t it be nice to hear more of this from them? Model this behavior and see if they follow suit.)
    • Spend 15 minutes a day minimum just being together (with your phones off and a “do not disturb” sign on the door). You can share about your day, make plans for a vacation, or simply cuddle together fully clothed.
    • Try my free 60-Second Passion Igniter technique. Couples who use it (for just 1-minute a day) say their love life improves dramatically.
    • Get out your calendars and plan weekly “date nights,” which might include some romantic evenings at home.

  • Your communication about your sex life.
    • Show each other in detail how you like to be touched sexually.
    • Check out my program, “Intimate Communication: How to Tell Each Other What You Really Want in Bed.”

If your resolution is to attract your last great love and life partner, you could:

  • Write a letter to your future lover and/or life partner.
    • Write about all the great qualities you appreciate in them.
    • Write about how wonderful you feel when you are with them.

My partner wrote a letter like this and kept it by his meditation altar – and he manifested me within months! It is so beautiful and brings tears to my eyes when reads it to me on occasion.

  • Spend 3 minutes a day standing in front of a mirror and say, out loud, something like, “My wonderful love, when I’m with you, I feel __(fill in the blank)__. Make this an emotional experience.
    • For example, “I feel happy, adored, cherished, loved, sexy, inspired, beautiful, empowered, fulfilled, excited, heart-connected, etc.
    • Take each emotion you want to feel with your partner, one at a time, and really feel into it as you speak it.
    • Close your eyes if you prefer. But realize this exercise works both ways. If you feel each of these emotions while you are looking at yourself, you help yourself feel that way now within, thereby resonating with the frequency that will attract your loving mate.

  • Send an email to all your friends letting them know you are ready for love and asking them if they know anyone you should meet. Be sure to tell them the qualities you are looking for in a mate (including how you want to feel, from the above exercise).

  • Hire a professional photographer to take pictures of you for your online dating profile. (This can make all the difference, since your photos are the first thing your prospects see.)

  • Look around your home and bedroom and make a list of what you need to do to make them inviting to a prospective partner.

From knowing what you want (your resolutions), this is like reverse-engineering to help you manifest them for real… finally! When you create a few very specific “to-do’s” around your goals, it helps you achieve them – and even helps you eliminate some potential roadblocks to your resolutions.

Can you see how much easier it will be to de-clutter your bedroom when you have a higher-level resolution to inspire you?

Think of it as working smarter, not harder. That’s why I say this is about pre-paving your new year’s resolutions … paving the way for more ease.

Now, when you hit a roadblock, a limitation or old negative thoughts and stories appear in your mind … the “buts” … oh, the buts… like:

… But I don’t have time to do all this. (If you can’t find time in your calendar for your partner or to go on dates with new love prospects, you might want to let go of lesser priorities, so you can make time for what you really want in the end.)

… But why should I have to be the one to make the first move to create more intimacy with my partner? (You can wait for him/her to make the first move, but somebody has to make a change if you want something new, and you’re the one who wants a better love life.)

… But I’ve tried to attract a partner before… (did you stick with it ‘til you succeeded?)

… But some of these suggestions require money… (true, so look at what you spend money on that is less important to you that you might put on hold).

… But, but, but…

Yes, you may encounter a bunch of buts, but right now, take a moment to take a good breath. 

(Yes, I’m actually doing this.)

Deeply inhale. Deeply exhale.

Take a moment and know that wherever you are right now on your journey is exactly perfect. And, it’s exactly where you need to be. There’s no “wrong” and NOW is the best space and place to be.

Because, now is a new moment in history.

Because, now you can make a new choice.

Now, you can choose to take charge of your future and take the word “but” out of your vocabulary and your life and toss it out with those old holey PJs and old belief systems you’re ready to drop off at Goodwill.

Your power is not in the past, or the future, it’s RIGHT NOW.

When these buts and limitations are released, you’ll feel even more spacious and available to take the nourishing actions that support and feed your New Year’s resolutions.

If you feel challenged in letting go of the past, or negative emotions, or your internal “buts” or other limitations, I can help.

Today is such a great day to let go of all that holds you back, so you can start the new year with a fresh and blank canvas to create and manifest your resolutions.

I wish you an absolutely amazing and abundant new year ahead — boundless, free, full of love, emotional fulfillment, joy and ease.

With Love,

Ellen Eatough

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