I recently had conversations with two women you may relate to (from their partner’s perspectives, if you’re a man).
The first I met last week at a conference. I’ll call her Nancy (I always protect confidential conversations). She wrote me afterwards, saying:
I wish I had found you a year ago! I thought I had found the man I would be with for the rest of my life. But after two and a half years, he breaks it off because I do not sexually satisfy him and he doesn’t want to cheat on me. I just found out last Sunday that he has found someone else who does satisfy him.
Heart-breaking. But, unfortunately, not uncommon.
Worse yet, (men, listen up) 75% of divorces are initiated by women. Or they have an affair …because they aren’t getting what they need in their relationship. They aren’t feeling emotionally connected with and sexually satisfied by their mates.
Don’t be blindsided like Nancy and so many other men and women when their partner suddenly announces they’re leaving (or have found someone who makes them happier than you do).
And don’t fall into a rut or spend years putting up with less than you need and desire, sacrificing sexual pleasure and emotional intimacy to keep your marriage together. It could backfire, and lead to just the opposite result.
There is hope for both singles and couples whose love lives have become less than rapturous. More on this in a moment…
I’ll call the other woman Tanya – she having a happier result that may inspire you.
She’s a coaching client of mine, and she and her husband are consciously exploring what each other wants and needs – in and out of the bedroom.
Tanya is also exploring what she wants and needs within herself. It’s a true delight to accompany someone on their relationship journey and see how their love, erotic pleasure, and enjoyment of each other grows by leaps and bounds as their relationship happiness and depth of intimacy continually expands.
But how do you learn what your partner really wants, and how can you convey to them what you need and desire?
I have an in-depth program coming up on this very subject. Watch my emails to you for an announcement as soon as it’s ready.
In the meantime… one simple (and very fun) thing you can do is watch others make love.
Tanya and her hubby have been doing this with great success. Watching female-friendly erotic videos has become part of their journey to expand their erotic repertoire and communicate with each other about their sexual needs and turn-ons.
Yes, that’s right. I’m suggesting you become voyeurs of real people having real erotic, sensual, loving and very intimate sexual experiences.
You need to see people who are skilled at lovemaking and have a broad repertoire of techniques that pleasure men and women and show you explicitly how they are done. This way you can try them out to learn what you and your partner each like and expand your own erotic repertoire.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well a good video is worth a million of them.
(I’m definitely not talking about porn here. In fact, what I’m about to tell you can be the antidote for men who’ve gotten overcooked on porn.)
This could have helped Nancy, if she had known where to look.
So where can you find this kind of beautiful, sensitively done video with real loving couples that is truly educational, yet pleasurable to watch and serves as great repertoire-building for couples and singles?
Glad you asked. I don’t produce videos myself, but I can tell you where to find them. My friend and colleague, Susan Bratton, has put together a collection of fantastic “Steamy Sex Ed” DVDs.
If you haven’t seen “real” lovemaking. . .
If you want to keep your sex life HOT. . .
If your partner doesn’t like to talk about sex or won’t tell you want they want. . .
Especially if your lover has little to no lovemaking experience. . .
You’ll want to check out this “Steamy Sex Ed” DVD collection.
I have reviewed every video in the collection, and they are just what “The Soulful Sex Coach” ordered. They are beautiful, very helpful, and serve as fantastic foreplay!
They will help you make your partner very happy and get you the pleasure and intimacy you crave.
I’m really impressed and grateful for the people who produced these videos and for Susan for making them accessible to you.
Because we need more love and pleasure in the world!