Don’t rely on the same old formula if you want to keep your partner’s interest in bed – and avoid unconscious resentment.
It’s so easy to get into sexual ruts. And one rut that can easily go unnoticed is thrusting patterns during intercourse. The same ol’, same ol’ can get boring. And women, especially, need variety to maintain interest in sex.
Changing up your thrusting patterns is one easy way to keep it exciting that takes no extra time. And this little adjustment can really make a difference in your lovemaking.
So this is the first in a short serious of tips on changing this up for more pleasure and excitement in bed.
Here are few things to keep in mind:
The outer portion of the vagina (as well as the mouth and anus) has nerves that are more sensitive to touch, while the deeper recesses of the vagina are more sensitive to pressure. If you start with shallow stimulation, it helps arouse the pressure-sensitive nerves deep inside, which will then respond with greater pleasure.
Also the tip of the penis is more sensitive than the shaft. Either partner can control the depth of thrusts, depending who’s on top, or who has the greatest freedom to move their hips in a particular position.
Shallow thrusts build arousal, especially for women.
Shallow thrusts help us warm up and develop a hunger for deeper, more powerful thrusts that fill us up. Try thinking of the shallow thrusts as a tease, an effective appetizer. You can even back it off a bit and caress her labia and clit with the tip of your penis before entering her or after a few shallow thrusts. This could drive her crazy – in a good way.
If a woman is deeply penetrated too soon during a lovemaking session, her feminine sexual energy may not be warmed up sufficiently to fully receive penetration. As a result, she may unconsciously resist. This is usually true for manual stimulation or with a dildo as well.
You want your female partner to feel you’re really making love with her rather than just “doing it” to her. If you feel her start to tighten up or back off in any way, you might want to back off a bit by returning to more external or shallow stimulation and give her time to warm up again before you go ahead with deeper penetration.
If you don’t, and you persist with deep penetration to soon, it can cause her to develop subtle feelings of resentment.
Women tend to do this… they tend to let a man come inside them more fully than they may be ready for because they think they should – or they think they should be ready by now. When they’re not, it can set a little negative cycle in motion.
Another reason some shallow thrusting is good, is that the G-spot is only a couple of inches inside the vagina. Shallow thrusts are more likely to stimulate it than deep thrusts, which pass it by.
Now, remember that women vary and they like variety. So this is not for all women all the time. But a really great technique to explore is to start with predominately shallow thrusts, and gradually moving to a greater proportion of deeper thrusts.
If you tease her a little with those shallow thrusts, she might even beg you to go hard and deep and fill her up!
And then, after you’ve made love, you can ask her how that was for her. Or, if you’re already good at eliciting feedback while you’re doing it, go for it! (I’ll offer tips on how to communicate during sex in another post.)
Keep an eye out for Parts 2 and 3 for more ways to expand your repertoire of thrusting patterns.