Senior Advisors
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I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and an associate professor of sexology at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, California. I am also the author of Women Who Love Sex: An Inquiry into the Expanding Spirit of Women’s Sexual Experience © 1999, a book that broadens the definitions of sexual pleasure beyond a physical, goal-oriented and ultimately sexist model to include experiences beyond the genitals—from love, empathy, and ecstasy to what one woman called "thinking off"—the ability to come to orgasm without any touch at all. When I was on the road publicizing this book I realized these women were actually talking about their spiritual lives as well as their sex lives—and I resolved that my next book would explore those spiritual dimensions of sex.
This year I have a research office at the Radcliffe Institute, Harvard University where I am a visiting scholar, working on my new study of sexuality and spirituality. The study is based on a nationwide survey. It’s the first ever conducted on this subject, and it drew an overwhelming 3810 responses. This is enough to place it among the largest U.S. sex surveys. The 1465 letters respondents sent are
spontaneous, moving documents that describe spiritual (and unspiritual) sex for the first time directly from the experiences of contemporary Americans—mostly women, but many men, too. You can find out more about my research at my web site.
What has kept me passionate about doing this work for 25 years now is the extraordinary vitality of people and their stories. I am constantly awed by their courage and innovation they work through societal stereotypes or abuse issues to tap into their own deep sexual power. My dream is that if we can get enough information to enough people about the connections between sex and spirit we can change the national conversation about sex. That is, sex will no longer have to be a dirty word. It can be restored to its rightful place as one of the generative
forces of this planet. I dream of the day when it’s impossible to talk about sex without also talking about spirit. The great appeal of being part of Extatica.com is this ability to transmit this kind of information in so many ways to so many people all over the world.
I have written chapters for several books. The latest are: "No More Dr. Nice Gal: Developing a Voice as a Feminist Sexologist," which appears in The Sex Scientists (Addison-Wesley, 1997) and "Integrating Sexuality and Spirituality: A Group Therapy Approach to Women’s Sexual Dilemmas," which will appear in New Directions in Sex Therapy (Brunner-Mazel, 2001). I have also written the "Sexuality Overview" for The International Women’s Encyclopedia (Routledge, 2001) and articles for magazines such as Parade, Ms., New Age, and New Woman. I
periodically write reviews of new books on women’s sexuality for The Journal of Sex Research.
I have conducted workshops in women’s sexuality and spirituality all over the United States—including at Esalen, New York Open Center, and Rowe Conference Center, and have presented keynotes and seminars at many colleges and health centers—including Harvard University, Emory University, the University of Pennsylvania, The Menninger Clinic, Massachusetts General Hospital, and Planned Parenthood. Also, I’ve been on many radio and TV shows. My favorite was being an expert on Oprah—in May of 2000.
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Professionally, I've been a licensed psychologist and also a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in issues of sexuality and intimacy for over 20 years; in addition, I teach sexuality courses for mental health professionals and therapists-in-training. I am certified by AASECT as a sex educator and as a sex therapist. (AASECT is the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, & Therapists.) I'm also a research fellow of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality. (SSSS.)
When I do sex therapy, I wear at least three hats:
1. sexual choreographer (tm) in which I am a coach facilitator, and instructor for creating erotic pleasure.
2. sexual detective/problem solver, in which I try to figure out, diagnose, what is going on in the sexual problems my clients bring to me.
3. sexual advisor, in which I assume the role of mentor, knowledgeable teacher, trainer, guide, educator, counselor, tutor, consultant, and provide solutions to problems and other relevant and appropriate information.
In my personal life, I'm blessed with a wonderful life partner; he brings happiness and serenity into my life and we laugh together every day. I have a son, three daughters and two grandchildren. Like you, I've had to make decisions and find my way with respect to my sexuality. And like you (if you're like most people), sometimes I did this wisely, sometimes not.
In my research I've been particularly interested in variations in how women experience their sexualities and in how sexuality fits into the various ages and contexts of women's lives: How do we become who we are? What are the developmental milestones on the path to sexual womanhood that contribute to a positive sexual self image? What makes sex meaningful and satisfying? And what detracts from sexual well being and a positive sense of self?
I hope you will find the excerpts we've included from my book "Women's Sexualities" a valuable resource. You can find out more about it on my web site.
Enjoy!
