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This article courtesy of www.extatica.com--Enjoy!

© Peter Levine, PhD Based on the "Sexual Healing" audio program by Sounds True.

After Sounds True released my "Healing Trauma" audio program I have had a number of requests to put out another learning series specifically on healing sexual trauma. I found myself putting the project off during the past few years. I think that the main reason for this delay was because the subject of sexual trauma, delicate in its own right, has become so horribly polarized in our society. I was apprehensive to be a target of zealots and fanatics. My life is complicated enough.

My decision to go forward was based on the importance of addressing sexual trauma because it affects so many of us. By even conservative estimates, worldwide, one in four persons has been sexually assaulted in childhood (in the USA there are some 65 million in that category, potentially 1.5 billion in the world). If you are a woman the chances are even greater. When you go into a supermarket to shop, look around you and realize that as many as one in four people there have been sexually assaulted as children. Whether you live in a small town or a large city, as you walk down any street on any ordinary day, you can be sure you are not alone. Know that you are not alone!

All of these estimates, however large, are only part of the story. First of all, they are numbers and tell nothing about the human suffering. In addition, many people are raped as adults and it is possible to be sexually traumatized by events that are not "supposed" to be traumatic! For example, it is possible that gynecological procedures, when performed roughly and insensitively, can cause the vital organs and energy systems in our pelvis and abdominal organs to go into a kind of "shock" not unlike what happens in sexual assault-this includes even roughly administered thermometers and enemas in childhood. Though not politically correct, abortions can be, and frequently are, traumatizing, as are other invasive surgeries performed in sexual and internal organs.

In some ways we need to be concerned about the cause of our loss of vitality and capacity for erotic connection and pleasure. But the remedy to heal and to restore access to these precious creative energies is what needs to be foremost...not the cause!

The Physiology of Misery

What is the physiology of misery or the question of suffering; both necessary and unnecessary? There have been two prevailing theories, or approaches, up until now:
• Freud: We are miserable because of our traumatic histories and that we can "cure" our neurosis through talk (reliving and understanding). With this "cure," the most we can hope for is ordinary unhappiness (therapeutic goal).
• There is also a metaphysical viewpoint: When we are born we come in not as blank slates but as "spirits" with a "blue print," for life. To unfold this "code," to materialize this "seed" as a physical "flesh" reality, we are given certain challenges and ordeals. In many metaphysical systems it is said that we pick the situations in our lives and even our parents to actuate this unfolding. In other words, we unconsciously chose our parents and our life events in order to work through our "karma" and learn the lessons that will open our eyes to our soul's purpose. This process of embodiment is what gives our life direction and meaning. It may be a surprise to you but there are many more people on the planet that believe this view than the psychological one.

How do these ideas help us to understand the effects of sexual trauma? First, because these ideas are polarities we know that neither alone can be true. And if we are able to keep an open mind we shall see that they both hold certain truths while obscuring others. Possibly the most fundamental difference is that the first, the Freudian one, is primarily a passive model where we are seen as "damaged goods." On the other hand, the metaphysical view is an active one of agency and creative self-empowerment. (Of course it can also be one of denial.)

We will explore a third option that holds together some of these polarities and can open some portals toward freeing ourselves of unnecessary suffering. It is a body-based "felt sense" approach, which I call "Somatic Experiencing." Here's the basic idea: To frame the question as one of "necessary vs unnecessary suffering," and the nature of "authentic transformation."
• Whatever has happened has happened; of that there is no choice-whether we actually chose it or not!
• It is how we deal with what has happened to us that sets the direction, ignites the fire, and gives the meaning to our lives. It is not the event but how we process it that determines our destiny. By this I don't mean denying what has happened (i.e., thinking positive thoughts); nor do I mean making an altar of our suffering.
• By denying-through "positive" thinking we may split off even further from our true selves and from the feeling resource we need to heal-in its grand scenario this kind of thinking becomes delusional (sacrificing our true selves even further.)

The skill we need to cultivate to transform traumatic experience is the capacity to feel our bodily sensations as they are. That means feeling sensations through to completion, in the now, without undue judgment or interpretation. This means truly feeling the feelings as they are-not suppressing them or not exaggerating them. Usually we fuel sensations, inflaming them into emotions without really having any idea that this is what we are doing. What we want to avoid is our lifelong identification becoming an altar to our wounds, as precious to us as they may be. Instead, our wounds can be merely a starting point for healing, a way to begin to reclaim the temple of our bodies.

The Handling of Sexual Trauma

The handling of the topic of sexual trauma and abuse in our society is deeply disturbing. We are now seeing scientific research research showing the detrimental effect of childhood abuse and trauma. Not only do psychological symptoms develop; there is now clear evidence that there can be interference with brain development and the suppression of the immune system. As the child grows into adulthood, and all through adulthood, psychological and/or physical ailments inevitably develop. I would say that the only thing more appalling than the state of mental health and unnecessary suffering in our country is its treatment-or rather lack of it. Trauma and sexual abuse is one of our most important human and societal problems. It needs to be studied by free, unbiased scientific investigation rather than polarized by hysteria and politics. People are tragically hurt by sexual trauma and we need both scientific study and the compassionate application of this knowledge to the understanding, prevention, and healing of trauma.

Violation

All sexual trauma is about violation. It is about violation in the form of:
1. Intrusion into our sacred space
2. Rupture of personal, emotional, sexual, and energetic boundaries
3. A shock to our delicate internal organs
4. Feeling soiled, dirty, damaged
5. Feeling deep unexplainable shame and guilt
6. Not being able to form deep sustaining relationships
7. At the core it is about being frozen, shut down, and/or being overwhelmed by emotions such as rage, hate, and terror
8. Also at its core is not feeling connected with ones environment, to the human race and to one's self-it is about devastation

At one time in our lives we felt so overwhelmed that we split off from our bodies. We may have noticed that we have had diffing to experience your bodily sensations and emotional feelings in very tolerable doses...in other words, a little bit at a time.

For now, let us continue by shedding some light on one of the areas that has become most controversial is the subject of recovered traumatic memories. The science of traumatic memory is only in its infancy and the crucial concept of "body memory" is embryonic. Yet one of the fiercest and most highly politicized debates surrounds the subject of traumatic memory or, as some falsely call it, "false memory."

We shall see that memories are often neither true nor false but rather something more fluid and shifting. What is most important in healing trauma is not remembering per-se but rather "re-membering." The Egyptian goddess Isis did just this with the disembodied parts of her husband Osiris. After slaughtering and dismembering him, his enemies cut up his body into pieces and buried these parts around the countryside. Isis then searched for and dug them up from the cavernous places where his enemies had buried them. She then joined those dismembered pieces them together into a coherent organism; she "re-membered" him.

How does this apply to us? Well, healing ourselves involves gently coaxing our disembodied and disconnected parts back together and then to begin to feel and tolerate the sensations that once overwhelmed us so that we too can bring them together and be re-membered. When we learn to tune into the promptings of our bodies own inner language, we begin to "re-member" our wholeness. This is the Holy Grail of transforming traumatic experiences. In learning that we can move from fixity and fragmentation to flow and coherence, we may come to find that it is possible to let go of difficult feelings and images that long have haunted us.

When our bodies remain are in trauma we will have the compulsion to search for the "cause" of our distress, i.e., to search for some literal "memory" that will explain to us why we feel the way we do. We frantically seek attribution and find it often where it does not belong. We grasp at fragments of experience trying to explain them to ourselves by remembering. We look for justice and revenge rather that at just what is. This compulsion is a remnant of our biological "orienting responses." It really has little to do with healing in the way of the goddess Isis.

Let us be informed by a young contemporary named Eve from the movie titled Eve's Bayou, a complex portrayal of the child's need for affection and the sometimes blurry line between incest and "incestousness." At the end of the film she concludes that:

Memory is the selection of images; some elusive; others printed indelibly on the brain. Each image is like a thread...each thread woven together to make a tapestry of intricate textures. And the tapestry tells a story. And the story is our past... Like others before me, I have the gift of sight. But the truth changes color depending on the light. And tomorrow can be clearer than yesterday.

- From the film, Eves' Bayou; screen play by Kasi Lemmons

Difficult Sensations

Because we have experienced intolerable sensations and feelings in the past, our tendency is to actively avoid them. Mentally, we split off or "dissociate" these feelings; physically, our bodies tighten and brace against them. We seem to live under the assumption that if we feel those sensations and feelings they will overwhelm us forever. Then in an attempt to manage them we come to rely on medications, food, drugs and alcohol to make these sensations and feelings go away. We have lost confidence that we can learn to tolerate them without outside help. The fear of being consumed by these "terrible" feelings leads us to believe that only not feeling them will make them go away.

This assumption simply is not true. Fighting against and/or hiding from unpleasant or painful sensations and feelings, will generally makes things worse. The more they are avoided, the more energy is spent on keeping them at bay; energy that should have been used for feeling alive and open to new experiences. What is not felt remains unchanged or gains in inward pressure, which forces people to step up their methods of avoidance and defense. This is the sort of vicious cycles that trauma creates. Abandoned feelings call out for attention.

What many people are not aware of is that when we focus, in a particular way on our uncomfortable sensations and feelings, for only a relatively short period of time, they shift and change. By learning to use our "felt sense," the capacity to increase body awareness, these feelings inevitably evolve into new ones; usually ones that enhance feelings of the "deep self." This basically is how we move from frozen fear to awakening and flow.

Causes

Whatever the cause, whether from molestation, rape, roughly administered gynecological examinations, abortions, or a cracked pelvis from an automobile accident, all such incidents can rob us of the vital capacity for pleasure and sexual gratification. They can all be equal opportunity destroyers!

The idea is not to dwell on the source of our "dysfunction," wherever it may have come from, but rather to do what we need to do to heal these wounds and reawaken our capacity for self-soothing, self-pleasure, and relaxation.

This does not mean that there are no significant differences among the sources of trauma. For example, being raped by a stranger certainly has different ramifications than incest, where the perpetrator was a person who was supposed to support, protect, and love us. When our supposed source of sanctuary was, instead, a source of danger, these injuries are betrayals of a sacred trust that undermine our basic sense of goodness and security. For this reason it often takes more time and work to heal such breaches of body, psyche, and spirit. Generally, guidance is needed from a well-trained and authentic therapist. But the more we invest in healing, the greater is the potential for transformation. In any case, what has happened to us is in the past. We cannot change that. Our only choice, now, is how we choose to deal with it now. This is pretty abstract, so let's see what this might mean in more practical terms.

When something happens to us, whether good or bad, we are molded by those experiences. Our bodies are impacted in a way that makes us experience the world as it was then-when we were first impacted. Genuine warmth and acceptance may be all around us, but because we learned to tighten our guts in the past, we experience only fear, alienation, separation, and threat. Because we perceive this to be real, we in one way or another will prove ourselves to be right to appease the ever-hungry ego.

This is the dilemma of trauma: We inadvertently create our external worlds to match what we feel internally. This is not the New Age idea that says that we create our universe with our beliefs and if we change our beliefs our outer world will automatically change. While not down-playing the importance of shifting belief systems, an indispensable step is missing. To change only our beliefs will be superficial at best and delusional and dangerous at worst. It is only by allowing our internal felt landscapes to change that authentic new beliefs can emerge. It is really not the other way around.

It can be a useful starting point to first identify the beliefs we have and then to notice what kinds of sensations and feelings are associated with them. As we continue to watch, we begin to see what keeps those feelings and sensations stuck (fixated) so that they cannot flow thus allowing new meanings to emerge and begin to replace those old limiting trauma/societal.

How do we begin to identify limiting beliefs? This can be difficult because we have a tendency to identify with the beliefs themselves, ie, we mistake them for reality rather than as merely old beliefs.

There is no question that sexual abuse and sexual trauma leave deep wounds that affect not only sexuality, but can compromise our basic identity and sense of self. And of the many faces of trauma, perhaps none is more debilitating than the feeling of shame and dirtiness. These feelings can cause us to “withdraw,” to hide, or to act out in ways such as promiscuity making us feel worse or even putting us in harm’s way.

The basic tool we have in healing trauma—of whatever kind—is to find a way to “feel through” these internal states so we can free the vast potential of energy that is locked in trauma and can assimilate these energies and feelings into our being and wholeness.

Dr. Peter Levine is the author of the best selling book “Waking the Tiger - Healing Trauma,” available in ten languages as well as three audio learning series for Sounds True: “Healing Trauma, Restoring the wisdom of the Body,” “It Won’t Hurt Forever, Guiding your Child through Trauma,” and “Healing Sexual Trauma-ransforming the Sacred Wound.”

To learn more about “Somatic Experiencing®'' (SE), the short-term naturalistic approach to the resolution and healing of trauma developed by Dr. Peter Levine, or to find a practitioner in your area who is trained in this technique, visit Dr. Levine’s web site: www.traumahealing.com