Common Myths about Multiple Orgasm
Myths about multiple orgasm are so commonly held, that most people don't even question them, assuming them to be fact. These myths build upon each other to create a rock-solid foundation of misunderstanding that dramatically restricts the capacity for sexual pleasure for the vast majority of western men, and affects women as well.
But the facts can open up a world of erotic possibility and pleasure . . .
Among these myths are:
MYTH #1:
For men, the terms "orgasm" and "ejaculation" refer to exactly the same process and can be used interchangeably.
Since most people (men AND women!) have been led by contemporary culture to believe this myth, the myth has been canonized as "common knowledge." As a result, for most people, the "logical" conclusion based on this viewpoint is that the only way for a man to experience a "sort of" orgasm repeatedly is by using some form of "ejaculation control" to try to block the ejaculation reflex at the last moments before feeling that ejaculatory Point of No Return (PONR).
Until now, ejaculation prevention (at the last moment) has been the strategy of choice for most men, since after ejaculation they nearly always (if not always) experience a "refractory period," that is, an erotic "down time" when they feel very little or no erotic energy, have very low erotic responsiveness to any attempts at further stimulation, and they experience little or no ability to have an erection (See Myth #4).
This situation can create a lot of stress for the man, but also for his sex partner, who may complain about sex being over too soon, or "…He just rolls over and falls asleep while I'm just getting started."
MYTH #2:
Women are genetically destined to have as many orgasms as they want, while men are genetically condemned to have only one or very few at any one time. Put another way, men aren't physiologically capable of experiencing "true" multiple orgasms like women can.
Based on the belief that for men orgasm is inseparably linked to ejaculation (Myth #1), it is generally also believed that there is no way a man could possibly experience erotic feeling that is more intense than he does when he ejaculates.
All men can hope for is to last longer by learning to "hover" just "this" side of the ejaculatory "Point of No Return" (i.e., when the ejaculation reflex can no longer be prevented, similar to the Point of No Return you feel when you can no longer prevent a sneeze from happening).
MYTH #3:
Reaching orgasm/ejaculation requires quite a bit of mostly continuous stimulation, for both women and men. Most men learned this continuous stimulation process (and at least subconsciously have accepted this myth as FACT) when they first learned to masturbate to ejaculation.
This belief, that more stimulation is the main path to orgasm, is often expressed by women who report that they have to "reach" (i.e., strain) to reach even one orgasm, let alone multiples!
MYTH #4:
A man must always have an erection to experience orgasm. This myth is also linked to Myth #1, that orgasm and ejaculation are basically two aspects of one indivisible process.
Since it IS true that usually a man needs an erection to experience ejaculation (one notable exception being in certain cases of premature ejaculation, where the penis may not be fully erect at the moment of emission), it naturally follows from the other myths that he will also "need" an erection in order to experience orgasm!
There are a number of others myths, but for now, we'll replace these myths with sex FACTS:
FACT #1:
Male orgasm and ejaculation are NOT just two aspects of the same, indivisible process. The globally and historically pervasive assumption that they were is just that... an assumption, and the good news is that it's an erroneous assumption:
ORGASMIC SECRET#1:
Orgasm and ejaculation are two distinct reflexes. They do not "have" to occur at the same time. A man does not "have to" experience ejaculation (or erection!) in order to experience orgasm, including multiple orgasms.
The assumption that ejaculation and orgasm are inextricable parts of the same reflex is largely the result of the way men during puberty typically "figure out" how to experience sexual peaks.
Most men learn this through masturbation... which for most adolescents (even across most cultures, it seems) is frequently shame-based, furtive, hurried, and involves a great deal of more or less continuous stimulation, often with relatively LOW levels of arousal, except arousal/excitement that concentrates in the genital area.
Since most men don't understand how to allow and amplify arousal so it will spread throughout one's body, rather than just concentrate in the genital area, the resultant "climaxes" are frequently only minimally satisfying. Men commonly report feelings of "Is that all there is?" as well as feelings of emptiness, and quite importantly, too often with accompanying feelings of resentment towards women who, in the minds of many men, "…get to have all they want."
Most men haven't understood how to truly separate arousal from ejaculation (but instead only to try to "control" or "block" the onset of the ejaculation reflex), and thus they feel "unfairly limited" by the refractory period (i.e., "the mandatory downtime" that nearly always follows male ejaculation between sexual activity sessions).
As a result, all too often it's easy for men to slide into a spiral of despair, frustration, and resentment towards women, because they may never or nearly never feel really satisfied.
FACT #2:
Although there is a good deal of research showing that frequency of male ejaculation has certain physical limitations due to what is referred to as the "refractory" (i.e., "recharging") period experienced by most men, there is to date apparently no research supporting the idea that male orgasm is limited in such a way, except when linked with ejaculation.
When considering orgasm apart from male ejaculation, the available data regarding the development of neural pathways in the body while still in the womb suggests that, neurologically, men and women have much more in common than we've been led to believe.
In fact, for the first eight weeks of a child's development in the womb, both the neurological and proto-genital characteristics of all fetuses, regardless of ultimate gender, are virtually indistinguishable.
On my website, multiples.com, we host a live discussion forum called Multiple Orgasm Trigger Forum. Here men and women can discuss and learn to enjoy full-body continuous-wave multiple orgasms that may continue for hours… without requiring ejaculation control methods, and where women learn to enjoy full-body high-arousal multiple orgasms without "reaching" or other straining. One of the regular contributors to that discussion group is "Doc-," who happens to be an M.D.
Regarding the similarities of Central Nervous System development and proto-genital characteristics, "Doc-" recently posted:
"All human genitalia develop from the same embryonic tissue. At eight weeks gestation the physical parts are almost identical, appearing primarily female at this point. There is a large glans at the superior aspect of the tissue. This becomes the clitoris in females (shrinking and becoming surrounded by the labia) and becomes the glans penis in men.
Below this there is an open vertical urethral fold and urogenital groove, surrounded by a lateral buttress. Below the urethral groove is the anal tubercle. In females these tissues do not change much throughout gestation.
The urethral fold and groove widen and flatten slightly to form the inner labia and opening to the vagina. In men these tissues fuse (from bottom to top) forming the urethra and the shaft of the penis (the buttress). On each side of the urethral folds are round bodies of tissue called labio-scrotal swellings.
In women these flatten and spread to form the labia majora. In men these buttresses fuse in the midline, and widen, creating the scrotum, maintaining a canal into the peritoneum (the inguinal canal) through which the testes can descend. Even the testes and ovaries arise from identical undifferentiated gonadal tissue. We are made of the same stuff. "The driving force in transforming these mostly female tissues into male genitalia is the presence of functional, hormone secreting, testes.
In the absence of testicular hormones the fetus will develop female (external) genitalia. There are, of course, many factors that can lead to a disruption in this process (androgen insensitivity, congenital adrenal hyperplasia, androgen maternal tumors, etc.) and may result in a baby being born with ambiguous genitalia.
Although the culturally-based stimuli that result in a state of arousal in women and men are often quite different, the physiological reactions to arousal are similar. There is a localized (and generalized) relaxation of vascular smooth muscles resulting in an increase in blood flow to the genitalia. This generally results in increased vaginal lubrication, and tissue swelling and reddening, in females, and often though not always may result in erection in males.
Throughout the full spectrum of gender, there tends to be an increase in tactile sensitivity associated with increased blood flow. As erotic stimulation is transmitted to the brain via sensory neurons, the autonomic centers of the brain (the limbic system, the hypothalamus) begin to arouse as well, entering into a peripheral-to-central-to-peripheral nervous system feedback loop." --Doc-
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